:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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