when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
