Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
