I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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