I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
