Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
