do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
