ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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