Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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