I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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