You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
did you just send me my own nude
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
