I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
ok first of all what the fuck
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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