The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
