we're blogging at a bar
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
