I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
