I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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