Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
