Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize