I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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