Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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