Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
