I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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