butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
