Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
