would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize