are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
