Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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