Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize