I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
