Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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