y did u give ur computer a hand job?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
