I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Randomize
