Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
