Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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