real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
