I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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