is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
