i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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