I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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