Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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