Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm really busy with my period
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
