Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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