It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
