If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
