Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Are we still banned from the library?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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