i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
