I think i peed on brittanys purse
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
