Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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