i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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