it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
