we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
send nudes
from the living room?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
