Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
