Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
