My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
