Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
