I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm both gender and math confused
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