Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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