It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
