youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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