i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
