I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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