Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
