dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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