My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
