i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just wanna soil my oats bro
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
