So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
