Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
