But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
