You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize