all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
