fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
