just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hippo gnu deer
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
