theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
this just has baby written all over it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
