oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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