Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize