HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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